Film Review: Murder Mystery
Murder Mystery is a pretty crap film.
Murder Mystery is the next film in the long line of terrible Adam Sandler films distributed by Netflix. At this point we're not sure that Netflix actually watches these movies before they put them on their service but here we are. Murder Mystery, like many of the recent Sandler-helmed flicks, seem less like movies than they do lavish holidays that Adam Sandler and friends go on where filming of random skits tied together loosely by some semblance of narrative occurs. Much of the film is slapped together with the kind of duct-tape storytelling you'd find in all those mediocre SNL movies.
There is star quality though. Jennifer Aniston is back, after working alongside Sandler in 2011's equally terrible Just Go With It, and they've roped in some pretty prominent names, including Luke Evans (Fast & Furious series, The Hobbit), Gemma Arterton, and a happily cashing in his check Terrence Stamp. What happens can be best described as stupid Cluedo, or more blatantly, a dumb Murder On the Orient Express where Sandler and Aniston's characters, a bumbling New York cop and hair dresser, stumble upon a high-stakes inheritance-grab murder mystery where absurd things happen. It never makes much sense but the biggest problems with these movies are not so much the cartoony skits (Sandler's cop is so bad at shooting his gun that when he does, it's a cartoon-like hail of bullets missing their target), but just the insanely unbelievable characters that fill these movies. It's OK to suspend belief, but at this point, you don't believe for one second any of the characters would exist in real life or that any of them act like actual humans do. There is also no shortage of cartoon bozos: Fat New York cop sidekick? Check. Buffoony Inspector Clouseau French detective? Check. Overly Spanish Spanish guy? Check. Ali G Indian guy? Check. Even Gemma Arterton's Jessica Rabbit-esque character would make Jessica Rabbit shake her head in disbelief. At least Rob Schneider isn't in it.
Is it funny? No, but there are actually some moments worth a chuckle. And that's already better than Sandler's previous Netflix outings. Murder Mystery's jokes are mostly at the expense of the exaggerated caricatures and Sandler's goofy self, but for the most part, its pretty bereft of humor. To make matters worse, the film has that cheap Netflix sheen to it that makes it even more of a TV movie than it already is. In the end, the movie is such a blatant Murder on the Orient Express rip-off that the end scene literally shows the Orient Express train. Unironically too.
Netflix's has a serious movie problem- one that we've talked about before. Murder Mystery, is no different. You can't fault Sandler for continuing down this path. Same goes for Aniston. Both have more than established their craft over the years that at times, you can't help but feel envious of the position they're in. So what if they just want to put their feet up, cash in a nice pay check, and enjoy the nice sights? Who wouldn't?
Murder Mystery is a pretty crap film, but it's what happens when we've given this much clout to Netflix. Spielberg had a point when he said Netflix movies shouldn't be competing for Oscars. It is not only because they eschew theatrical traditions, but it should also be because they're crap. And not even in the Spielberg Artificial Intelligence sense of being an average movie- but in the Lifetime channel level of crap. So really, when you think about, Murder Mystery is all our fault.